Thoughts

I'm on my 23rd week of pregnancy, and I must look like seahorse. I wish I could know what the baby's gender is. There seems to be a baby boom in my circle of acquaintances right now. Almost everyone I know is heavy with her own bambino, and that's why I'm probably apprehensive about my own too. If you should know, I have taken on a most motherly stance these days--I have been learning to sew things, and one of the first projects I've done is to give Gabby's old comforters a new look. Meaning that I took out old materials from his old things and sewn a new cover, with a matching pillow. I'm so eager to be a mom again. Or am I? Right about now, little baby is kicking inside me, giving me little contractions that, though not scary, remind me s/he's there, really there and raring to come out anon....

Geez, how I wish the nine months will be over and I have the little baby mewling beside me...at least then I can think of many other things, more important of which is getting a new job. If I had a choice, I'd like to be a home maker tending to my kids, but that is not quite an option for me and husband right now. At least not yet. My mind has been going over many possibilities of getting a job that allows me to stay at home with the kids, and yet earn enough to help Oliver meet our obligations, especially the rent.....but I have not come up with something feasible...

One thing's for sure, two kids is enough.

Thursday

It's been a little cool and overcast this morning, the sky threatens rain and I'm kinda loving it...I don't know what it is about the rains, but I settle more comfortably with the thought of the wet ground and wet leaves and wet feet. Where I am is most undesirable, I'm woozy with the five months old bambino in my womb, my country is in the brink of another unpheaval, I hate my job....but the rains somehow anesthesize me from all these ugly realities. Once I hear the Basia song again, I know I'll be on a different plane, completely heedless of the world spinning around me.

I am not aware how long it was since I last wrote, but it must have been eons. Many things have happened, we've moved house, taken on a relative, seen off a relative, raised Gab and witnessed him grow from lovable to dreadful... but most importantly, something grew, its sprout eyes each to each, inside me--a self-protruding truth that is now a life, jolting inside me, reminding me I am going to be a mother of two....

What it's going to be, she or he, I can only guess....and guess I will here on this journal, while I have something to say about it. Or, perhaps like a phoenix, resurrect my thoughts on coffee, or love, or death, or motherhood, or books, or rains.....or whatever. Basta!

Helloworld

I'm not sure that I'm back to my old blogging self, but I shall try my darnedest to chronicle the what-have-I's in the next few so and so moments of my life. Just about now my thoughts are repressed for anything that is writable on blog--I'm just hurrying to get home and cuddle with the little boy who now knows his stars from his moon. Lovesick mom...